Grandparents’ Rights in Australia: How to Keep Seeing Your Grandchildren

In Australia, grandparents do not have an automatic right to see their grandchildren. What the law does is let a grandparent ask a family law court for orders to spend time or communicate with a grandchild, and the court decides based on what is best for the child. For most families, the gentler first steps are a calm conversation, a respectful letter, and then family dispute resolution (mediation) if you still cannot agree.

If you would like help putting that first request into words, Claim Done drafts a warm, respectful letter to your grandchildren’s parents from your answers, for a flat A$29. It is a request centred on the children, not a court application and not a demand.

Do grandparents have rights to see their grandchildren?

Not in the sense most people mean. Legal Aid NSW puts it plainly: grandparents do not have an automatic right to have a relationship with a grandchild. But anyone who has an ongoing relationship with a child, or who is concerned with the child’s care, welfare or development, including grandparents, may apply to the court for parenting orders. Having a right to apply does not mean the court will make an order in your favour.

The Family Law Act 1975 names grandparents directly in the list of people who may apply for a parenting order (section 65C). In deciding whether to make a parenting order, the court must treat the child’s best interests as the paramount consideration (section 60CA). One of the matters it must weigh is the benefit to the child of a relationship with their parents and other people who are significant to them, where it is safe to do so (section 60CC).

Family Relationships Online says family law recognises the importance of children having relationships with people significant to them, including grandparents. So the starting point is the child, not the grandparent.

When a letter is not the right first step

A friendly letter suits a family where contact has faded or stopped after a falling-out or a separation. It is not the right tool in every situation. Please get advice before writing if:

• there has been family violence, or you are worried about anyone’s safety, including the children’s
• a child protection agency is involved with the family, or a children’s court has made orders
• there are already family court orders or a parenting plan about the children
• you are worried about a grandchild’s welfare in their current home.

Legal Aid NSW notes that care and protection law is State law and quite different from family law, and that where the Children’s Court has made orders it is best to get legal advice. If you are in immediate danger, call 000. 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) is listed on Family Relationships Online for people affected by domestic and family violence.

Start with a conversation, then put it in writing

Legal Aid NSW says going to court should always be the last option because it can be stressful and expensive, and that before you do anything you should talk to the parents and try to agree on how and when your grandchildren see you. If calls go unanswered, a letter gives the parents something calm to read in their own time. Tasmania Legal Aid notes that an informal agreement with the parents works well where everyone trusts each other and can talk well together.

What a respectful letter should say

• Who you are to the children, and a short, warm memory of the time you used to share.
• The children’s first names and ages only.
• A brief, calm account of what has changed, written as your own experience, without blaming anyone.
• A clear, modest suggestion, such as a visit once a month or a short video call every fortnight, offered as an idea to talk about.
• Reassurance that you will respect the parents’ rules, routines and decisions, and that they come first as the parents.
• If you wish, a gentle offer to try family dispute resolution together if it is hard to agree directly.
• How they can reach you, and a warm thank-you.

What it should not say

• That you have a “right” to see the children, or that they must agree.
• Any threat of court, lawyers or consequences.
• Criticism of either parent, their new partner or their parenting.
• Old arguments, or who was to blame for the falling-out.
• Anything you would not want the children to read one day.

The structure of the letter

This is the shape the letter follows. It is not a fill-in-the-blanks template; the words come from your own answers.

1. Greeting: addressed warmly to the parent or parents by name.
2. Who I am and our bond: your relationship to the children and a sentence or two about your time together.
3. What has changed: a short, measured account in your own words.
4. What I am hoping for: your suggested arrangement, open to discussion and shaped around the children.
5. Reassurance: respect for the parents’ role and their rules.
6. A next step if we cannot agree (optional): a gentle offer of family dispute resolution.
7. Closing: thanks, your contact details, your name and the date.

How to send it and what to keep

Send it the way the parents are most likely to read it calmly: by post, by email, or handed over in an envelope. Keep a copy and note the date. Then give them time; a string of follow-ups can feel like pressure.

If you cannot agree: family dispute resolution

Family dispute resolution, often called FDR or mediation, is where a neutral, accredited practitioner helps family members talk through a dispute about children. Family Relationships Online says it is compulsory under Australian family law for separated parents to attempt FDR before applying for parenting orders, and Legal Aid NSW says the Family Law Act requires people to try it first, if it is safe to do so. Family Relationships Online lists exemptions, including:

• formalising an agreement through consent orders
• where family violence or child abuse is a factor
• when you are responding to an application to court
• urgent issues
• where a person is unable to take part effectively, for example because of incapacity or distance
• where a person has contravened, and shown a serious disregard for, a court order made in the last 12 months.

FDR can be done by phone or video call, and the practitioner checks whether it is suitable, including for safety. If it does not succeed, or is not appropriate, an accredited practitioner can issue a section 60I certificate, which is usually needed before a court application can be filed. The Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia says Family Relationship Centres provide information, referral and individual sessions free of charge, and the first hour of joint sessions is free (as at November 2026).

Court is the last resort

If nothing else works, a grandparent can apply to the court for a parenting order. The court decides what is in the child’s best interests, and nothing about the result is automatic. Legal Aid NSW recommends getting legal advice before taking legal action. A Claim Done letter is not a court application and does not start any court process.

Where to get support

• Family Relationship Advice Line, 1800 050 321: anyone can call, including grandparents. It gives information on parenting arrangements, can organise telephone FDR, and refers callers to Family Relationship Centres.
• Family Relationship Centres: information, referral and dispute resolution sessions.
• Your State or Territory legal aid commission. In NSW, LawAccess NSW is on 1300 888 529.
• Kids Helpline, 1800 551 800: the Court’s page for grandparents suggests it for young people who would like to talk to someone else.
• Lifeline, 13 11 14, if you are struggling yourself.

Mistakes to avoid

• Writing while upset. Sleep on it, then read it as the parents would.
• Asking for too much at once. A small, regular arrangement is easier to agree to.
• Involving the children. The Court’s page says the child does not need to get involved in issues between you and their parents.
• Copying in other relatives or posting about it online.

Losing contact with grandchildren is painful. If you would like help finding gentle words, start your grandparent contact request for A$29. You answer a few questions, download the letter straight away, and send it yourself when the time feels right.