How to Ask the Other Parent for Child Support in Australia: A Calm Letter and Your Options

If the other parent is not helping with the costs of your children, the simplest first step is often a calm written request. You can ask them to agree a private arrangement with you, or to keep up with an assessment or agreement that is already in place. If that does not work, either parent can apply to Services Australia (Child Support) for a child support assessment, which works out the amount using a formula set in law.

Claim Done drafts a child support letter to the other parent from your answers for a flat A$29. It is a polite, child-focused letter you download and send yourself. It asks the other parent to contribute and names Services Australia as the proper channel. It does not set an amount, and it cannot make anyone pay.

Your options for child support in Australia

According to Services Australia, there are two types of child support: a child support assessment, or self-managed child support. Once there is an assessment, parents can also make a formal child support agreement.

The rules for limited agreements and binding agreements are set out on separate pages. Services Australia also says changes to the child support system are coming, most from July 2027, and that you do not need to do anything now (as at November 2026).

How payments move between you

Where there is an assessment, agreement or registered court order, there are two ways to collect child support. Under Private Collect, the parents pay each other directly. Under Child Support Collect, Services Australia tells the paying parent how and when to pay, collects the money and passes it on.

Who can ask, and when an assessment is the next step

A letter is between you and the other parent, so anyone can write one. A formal assessment has its own rules. To get an assessment, you must be the child’s legal parent or a non-parent carer, and meet residence rules. At least one parent must live in Australia. A non-parent carer, such as a grandparent, can apply if they care for the child at least 128 nights a year and are not the partner of either parent.

You can apply for an assessment online, or call the Child Support Enquiry Line on 131 272 if you cannot apply online. If you do not have a myGov or Child Support online account, you should still submit your application. Services Australia then writes to both parents with its decision. If it makes an assessment, the notice says how much will be paid and when payments start. Both parents can object to a decision they disagree with.

Timing matters. Services Australia says a child support period starts on the day you make an application for child support. So if a private request is going nowhere, waiting a long time before applying can leave a gap. An assessment also ends when the child turns 18, unless they are still in secondary school and an extension is accepted.

What a child support request letter should say

A good letter is short and kind. It keeps the focus on the children and makes one clear ask. It should:

• be addressed to the other parent by name
• name the children by first name and age only
• say plainly what is happening now, without blame
• say what you are asking for: to agree a private arrangement, to keep up with an existing assessment or agreement, or to pay amounts owing under it
• only quote a figure if it comes from an assessment or agreement, or clearly as a proposal to talk about
• say, as a neutral next step, that you may apply to Services Australia for an assessment if you cannot agree
• give a way to reply

The structure of the letter

1. Heading and date. Your name, the other parent’s name and the date.
2. About the children. One or two sentences naming the children and the shared job of supporting them.
3. Where things stand. A plain, factual line about what is or is not in place now.
4. The request. What you are asking the other parent to do, and from when.
5. The proper channel. A neutral note that Services Australia assesses and collects child support, and that either of you can apply.
6. Reply. How to reach you, and an invitation to sort it out together.
7. Sign-off. Your name and a signature line.

How to send it and what to keep

Email is fine, as it gives you a dated copy. Keep the letter, any reply and every payment record together. If you agree a private arrangement, Services Australia suggests on its Private Collect page that you write it down, both read and agree to the details, both sign it and both keep a copy. Keep records of every payment, even cash. For bank transfers, put the period covered and the words “child support” in the description.

If asking for child support puts you or your children at risk, do not send a letter. Services Australia says you can ask to speak to a social worker, and you can call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732.

What to do if the other parent does not pay

A letter cannot force payment. What happens next depends on what is in place.

• Nothing in place yet. You can apply for an assessment. The amount is worked out by a formula in Australian law that looks at each parent’s circumstances.
• Private Collect and payments have stopped. One late payment does not mean the arrangement is broken. If you can, talk to the other parent. You have 3 months, or 9 months in exceptional circumstances, to get things back on track. After that, Services Australia may be unable to collect all of what is owing.
• You want Services Australia to collect. Only the receiving parent can ask to change to Child Support Collect. It suits parents who find it hard to talk about money, or who need help getting payments back on track.

If you have not received what you are entitled to, Services Australia says to tell them as soon as possible on the Child Support enquiry line. It does not check Private Collect payments, so it needs to hear from you. Under Child Support Collect it has ways to recover overdue child support, such as deductions from wages or tax refunds, but it cannot say how long this will take. You can also get legal advice about getting the other parent to pay what they owe.

Mistakes to avoid

• Naming your own figure as a debt. Unless there is an assessment or agreement, there is no set amount yet. Offer a figure only as something to discuss.
• Waiting too long. The assessment period starts when you apply, and overdue Private Collect amounts can only be collected back a limited time.
• No records. Without payment records it is hard to show what was paid.
• Forgetting Family Tax Benefit. Self-managing limits you to the base rate of FTB Part A. Under Private Collect, Services Australia says it usually cannot pay you more FTB if you do not collect the full amount.
• A heated tone. Blame and threats make a reply less likely. Keep it about the children.

If you would like help putting the request into words, Claim Done drafts your child support letter from a few plain questions for A$29. You download it straight away and send it yourself. It is a letter, not legal advice, and no outcome is promised.